I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
