we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
