can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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