is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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