i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
