Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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