and she was petting her beer can
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
