You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
