It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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