it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
