Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
