He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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