I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
