peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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