there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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