had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
