his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
