Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
