I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
