That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
