dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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