was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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