Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
