drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
