she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
