He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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