Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
