I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
