Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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