I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
