you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
