I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
