just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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