as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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