I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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