sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
