I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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