oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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