We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
