Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
