youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
