is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
