i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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