i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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