You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
