some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
