can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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