Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
