She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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