I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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